Being Brave; thoughts.

I was pondering bravery,... well, rather I was wondering if I am a brave person.

I'll kill things (bugs) for people who are afraid. I'll do little things, things that aren't truly important. Like, I rarely find the ability to stand my ground on things I feel strongly in. Its as if the words are there, but my mouth is glued shut.

I remember when my sister and I were young, the neighbor girls picked on her and I did nothing, didn't defend her. But as soon as either of us would tell off one of the girls, the other sister would step in and tell us off...

I wonder how greatly I let fear and wanting to be accepted rule me. I'm afraid to say things that are in defense of my Christian friends because I don't want to make them look foolish or end up in the cross fire.

I think if I really sought after God's opinion I would be very brave. I wouldn't mind what others though, I mean.. I still feel like a dimwit after speaking my mind in bible study weeks ago. Perhaps it's because I wasn't careful with what I was saying... or perhaps I guard my words and rarely speak that I am still in shell shock that I said anything :P


Also, I reckon I speak openly at the wrong times, when I put my defense up and get the claws out. When the anxiety of being belittled or emotionally crushed is (seemingly) in the horizon, my thought process goes down the poop shoot and tada! Big ol' not think mess. Great, a jumble of fear, anger, and annoyance spill out like venom targeting straight for the soul.. 'like a two-edged sword'.


I think the key here to all of this is probably self-control, it does seem that it would describe 'keeping yourself from doing something' BUT it also encompasses 'DOING something you know you're meant to do'.

Ahhh, to ramble. <3